I have recently just decided that I will not take my extra year of eligibility to play collegiate field hockey, known as a Red Shirt year. This means that I am suddenly not a Red Shirt Junior anymore with plenty of time left in college, but a Senior who is about to graduate in less than three months! A lot of people start panicking back in August when they realize it is their last year, so naturally I have been freaking out that the real world is right around the corner. Everyone in college says that the four years go by in the blink of an eye, and the last one goes even faster. So I am assuming my last three months is going to feel like three days!
Graduation for me is going to be especially emotional for many reasons. For one, I will be moving back to the United Kingdom where I grew up. This is very exciting but I am also going to be saying farewell to all the people I have met here, and who really knows when I will be state side again. I also have to mention that I am bringing Ella, my pet rabbit (see picture below), back home to England with me which will be an incredibly stressful experience, but I could not bear to leave her behind. I also have very little planned in terms of my career! It is comforting to know that most people are in the same boat, but it is time to start applying for jobs and finding my way in life on my own. Another thing, I still don't even know what I even want to do career wise, adding to the panic. At least I have my resume set and ready to go.... got to focus on the positives right?!
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So how am I dealing with all this going on right now? I have decided to just really take it day by day and live in the moment. I know it will be over soon so I am trying to appreciate and enjoy everyday I have left. I am not ignoring the fact that everything is about to get flipped upside down, but rather I am trying not to worry about what is not in my control. People always say it will work out, and I am excited to see what is in store for me! There are also a lot of other things to concentrate on and that are doing a good job of distracting me! I am going to Vegas for Spring Break with some of my teammates which I am super excited about. This morning my best friend Olivia told me that she is coming all the way over from England to visit me in April! It will be amazing to show her what I have been doing for the past four years and to show her a true American college town! As a graduation present to myself, I am going to be spending 2 weeks in Zimbabwe this summer volunteering at Antelope Park in Zimbabwe, for their Lion Rehabilitation Project.
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For now , that is as far as my plans go. One quote that has stuck with me recently is,"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them, that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like" - Lao Tzu. Hopefully I can carry this mindset all the way to the end of the semester when I will really be put to the test! So if you are a college senior like me who doesn't have that perfect job lined up or a set idea on what you want to do, then you are not alone! The truth is the majority of us are in this position, even if we are afraid to admit it. I feel confident in what I have achieved here at Indiana University. I have gained valuable work experience, moved countries on my own, been a student-athlete for 4 years and more importantly grown tremendously as a person. Trust in and believe in yourself seniors, work hard, and don't stress yourselves out too much, good things will come!
Cheerio and Good Luck in your futures!!
Amanda Bennison