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Chronicles of a college all-nighter

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All-nighters. I never pulled one in high school, but I probably got too comfortable with them in my first year of college. I don't think I can count on both hands the number of nights I got absolutely no sleep and consequently hated myself the next day. This is an approximate account of what many of those nights and following mornings were like.

  • 12:00 AM: till practically daytime for me. Probably was doing homework (or binge watching Netflix), but watching the clock as my usual bed time nears...

  • 1:00 AM: Eh, should probably go to bed, but I mean, I'm used to going to sleep around 2, there's practically no point in trying right now because I won't even fall asleep. I could take melatonin, but like do I really need the extra hour? No. 

  • 2:00 AM: Agh, I remember when I went to bed at 11 in high school. Why do I do this to myself every day? Rock-a-bye Clara on the top bunk, you are so stupid, you really screwed up (for the 48th night in a row).

  • 2:01 AM: *enter friends and company* How did you even get in here, there's a key swipe...

  • 2:02 AM: Um pls go away, I am trying to get beauty rest. ​

  • 2:03 AM: Well, I guess a Steak n' Shake run can't hurt. Peanut butter milkshakes make you more tired right?

 

  • 2:30 AM: *add to Snapchat story photo of my un-amused reaction to the Steak n' Shake drive-thru line*
  • 2:40 AM: bumpin' Missy Elliot as loud as the speakers go #HaterzGonHate
  • 2:45 AM: *add to Snapchat story photo of me worshipping my PB milkshake*
  • 3:00 AM: *return from Steak n' Shake trip that took 50 years* Oh my God I was supposed to be asleep an hour ago.

  • 3:15 AM: HAHAHAHAHA SUGAR HIGH! Everything is funny!!!!!!!!!!

  • 4:00 AM: Snapchat story is currently 85 seconds long, many of them being photos with the time stamp. Includes photos of floor mate wrapped in toilet paper, terrorizing studious people in the lounge.

  • 5:00 AM: Ugh, friends went to bed. The gym opens in one hour! I'll just drink coffee now, do my pre-lab for K201, pump some iron and be super productive the rest of the day! I AM GREAT. WOW. 

  • 5:15 AM: Feeling. Weak. Eyes. Heavy. Must. Persevere. *sets timer for 5 minutes, power nap*
  • 5:20 AM: I'M AWAKE.

  • 5:30 AM: I'm feeling pretty decent. Sleep is for the weak. Lol @ "necessary for human survival."
  • 5:45 AM: Oh. My. God. *falls in to bed with clothes still on and passes out*
  • 9:00 AM: sldfjewiofdsbjrhowrwaodf. Help me Lord of Caffeine. *hair up, sweats on, drags body to class, add to Snap story while walking to class: All-nighter. LET'S GO! (but really my face is like no)*

  • 9:31 AM: *add to snap story: #NoSleep #Blessed* Oh FML I forgot my clicker. There's no point in me even being here, but I can't leave now...*puts hood up, falls asleep in the back of the lecture hall*

Common alternatives to the above included: ordering Pizza X, banging my head in to my finite textbook and having dance parties in the lounge.

FYI: you'll more than likely find yourself pulling all-nighters or just losing out on sleep for what seems like no good reason (your friend will just sit on your floor, eating your food, and chatting the night away OR you're being a stellar friend and taking care of them after a very rough night). Even though at the time you'll probably want to just burrow under your covers and make them leave without being rude because you have an exam the next day, EMBRACE THESE NIGHTS. These are the ones that you'll fondly recall when the year comes to an end. Real talk, freshman year is one huge slumber party. It's freakin' awesome. But also remember that sleep is technically necessary for human survival. 


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